Zazu's Diary
by destroy this city of delusion
Summary: The King's majordomo is back, with a funny heart wrenching story. But what happens when he falls in love? Will he drop all his morals to be with the love of his life? Or will he turn back on the life he loves? Please R&R : On Hiatus currently
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Lion King, any characters or settings . I do own any circus characters (eg. Difara)**

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><p><strong><span>Zazu's Diary<span>**

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><p>As the King's majordomo, I advise and organise the King's business in the Pride Land. In the movie you don't see much of me, so I have decided to keep a diary that will inform the likes of YOU about what my job entails.<p>

Monday

After giving Simba The Morning Report, I travelled with Timon and Pumbaa to oversee the trial of a wildebeest that had been accused of kicking a zebra out of the waterhole. I don't know why I have to go to this trial, I mean, I really should have been accompanying the King on his visit to Zira's place in the Outlands in case of hyena attacks. Luckily no-one was hurt and I was not needed. In my view His Majesty should just kill Zira to avoid any battles. Any creature that chooses to be the mate of Scar does not deserve to live. You know he tried to eat ME once? Luckily the Great Mufasa saved me in the knick of time. Mufasa respected me (and needed me, I must say), but sometimes I think that Simba just makes fun of me. Sending me of to wildebeest trials with a warthog and a meerkat, laughing and chatting during my Morning Report and making me help OTHER members of the Pride.

Tuesday

The most extra-ordinary turn of events today. Some travelling circus has gone and set up camp in the Pridelands. Kiara and her friends are most interested, but I have warned them against going within 500 yards of those gypsy creatures. Simba has told me to go and talk to them, and I hope to have them out of the vicinity of Pride Rock in the next 24 hours. Well it's alright them making money from a lower class of customer, but we in the Pridelands are a higher class of people who will not be drawn in by such scum!

So I went to Simba as usual in the morning, and he told me the early hunting pack had discovered these travellers setting up by the waterhole. Apparently they had travelled all the way across the Sagrahi Desert after hearing that here would be a good place to come! Well I don't care for much for the imbecile that gave them that idea!

Well I set off in the direction of the waterhole with Kiara (she had persuaded her father to let her come)

"What don't you like about the circus people Zazu?" asked Kiara, to break the pleasant silence.

"Well travellers think they can just come anywhere with a show to amuse some idiots, and then instantly be accepted into society! And then they just leave us, with a patch of yellow grass and a litter problem!"

I think I spoke my thoughts and Kiara understood, but she couldn't help but be fascinated by the circus. I suppose I would be too if I was that age...But she should know better now since she is the King's daughter.

The crowd at the circus let us through without an argument- it pays to have a princess with you- and we found someone and asked where the ringmaster was. But just before we entered the the ringmaster's trailer I saw a female Southern Yellow-billed Horbill... She was beautiful. I only caught a glimpse of her, but wow.

"Come on Zazu, they're waiting for you!" Kiara grabbed my tail.

"Ouch! Do you mind where you put your paws!" I cried, and followed the gazelle into the trailer.

I perched on the back of the seat offered to me by the ringmaster. Difara was a lion, and I know how to deal with lions.

"His Majesty King Simba sent me here to talk to you about what business you have here in the Pridelands" I told him. He took a bite out of his steak, and chewed thoughtfully.

"I need money to keep my workers happy, if I don't do shows it means REDUNDANCIES, CUT-BACKS, CLOSURE, I can't give up making my people happy, and bringing joy to others, and keeping animals in work."

"But what is doing for US?" I confronted him, "We end up with litter, vandalism and crime as these shows cover things up. We are not your average pack of animals, we are a higher class of customer than the creatures you are used to amusing."

"We can bring EMPLOYMENT, HAPPINESS and FUN to the hard working animals of the Pridelands, I am sure King Simba will understand what we wish for. Just get him and his family to come and watch tonight, and I am sure all his opinions will change." He said back. With this I left the room to find Kiara.

I eventually found Kiara round the back of the Big Top with a group of ballet dancers that were teaching her some moves.

"Time to go Kiara," I called, "Your father is expecting you back before lunch."

"Successful trip eh Zazu?" Kiara asked on the walk back to Pride Rock.

"Yes the ringmaster wanted you and your family to go and watch the show tonight."

"But you found something else though Zazu, didn't you?" She had that sarcastic edge to her voice that she knows I cannot stand.

"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about girl," and I flew a little higher to avoid this interrogation, but she soon caught up with me.

"That bird! It was totally love at first sight, and you can't deny it!"

"Oh yes I can!" I said, "I categorically deny it! Love at first sight is a load of rubbish, and I am NOT in love!"

"Oh come on Zazu! It's nothing to be ashamed of," she called after me up Pride Rock.

"Farewell Kiara, I shall see you tonight."

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Timon and Pumbaa. Not and easy thing to do, and I don't advise it.

"So this bird, is she hot?" asked Timon.

We were in my office at Pride Rock, and I was filing Simba's documents in filing cabinet. Kiara had told them about the events thins morning, and they wouldn't let it go.

"Yeah Zazu," Pumbaa said with a mouthful of grubs, "you should definitely go for it!"

"But she works at a circus, gypsies, travellers! She just not my class of girl," I said, "but she is beautiful..."

I couldn't stop thinking about her. I kept telling myself that she was no good for me, that I didn't love her. Well maybe the show tonight would give something else to think about.

We took our front row seats in the Big Top just as the show began to start. The place was packed full of animals, and tickets had sold out. Maybe people round here do like this kind of thing? The show was amusing and fun to watch. I particularly like the trapeze artists flying through the air above us! They got a standing ovation and the show was a hit.

On the way back out of the tent I caught another glimpse of her...she is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Hope you think this story is funny and gripping! please Rate and Review after reading so i can take on your valuable advice! Don't forget to put it on Story Alert to find out what will happen next with Zazu!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Lion King, its characters, settings. I do own the circus, plot and Tallulah (my OC)**

The bit in italics and underlined is the 2 parts of his brain talking. :)

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><p><strong>Zazu's Diary<strong>

Wednesday

I awoke at the crack of dawn so that I could compile my morning report and get all that out the way. After all, I had one thing on my mind today. I hadn't told a soul about my plans to find this girl today. And I certainly didn't want to be given the third division when I got back. I had a nice hot shower and blow dry before I went to make sure I looked my best. A voice in my head still asked me why I was bothering. That she was too lower class for me. I think my love at swallowed all my prejudices.

When I got there, the crowds were still thick around the ticket office as the word had spread of the talents that featured in the show. I decided to just fly in the back to save time. I passed some rough looking clown zebras, some drunk wildebeest and some singing vultures that were working on their harmonies. It didn't take me long to find her. She stood out from the crowd. She has pinky-red feathers and a beak that lit glistened in the hot morning sun. She also had that 'just-got-out-of-bed' look that made me drool.

" Oh hi! Oh god I look such a mess! Tallulah's my name, nice to meet you"

"Zazu. Oh don't worry you look fine"

I didn't know whether she felt the chemistry at first, but before I knew it she was sitting next to me and stroking my wing.

"Zazu, I love you, and this would be great but..."

"L...l...love is a s...strong word T..T..Tallu- but what?

"I have a mate! But he is not here so..."

"No Tallulah! That would be wrong! I mean I couldn't! A hornbill has MORALS and RESPECT for others. I don't know what goes on in this gypsy slum, but I am the majordomo of a King. I stick to what is right."

"GYPSY SLUM? How dare you? I may not be the same class as you, but I thought you loved me and wanted to be with me! But NO! Mr Fancy-Pants here would rather crush his emotions!"

She was nearly in tears. It pained me to watch her. I had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"We'd never even spoken before today, we can't make commitments this quickly! Well if you excuse me, Mr Fancy-Pants would like to leave immediately."

I did nothing this afternoon. To many thoughts were whizzing around my brain and I couldn't think straight. I even had to put off my rendezvous with the ambassador of the Kalahari.

Zazu, you did the right thing, she's already with someone!

_But he's not here! Take your chance whilst you can!_

You have morals! The rules which you live your life by!

_She's your soulmate! You are made for each other!_

You gotta give the other guy some respect Zazu. He will hardly ever see Tallulah, it must be hard for him.

_If he really loved her then he would travel with her! Their marriage is probably dead._

You guys only met today and had an argument already! That shows you are not right for each other!

And so on and so forth for at least 2 hours. I nearly flipped a coin for it. (I must be going mad) Then I heard a fluttering of feathers at the window.

"Follow me" she whispered.

Tallulah took me to a tree right on the outskirts of the Pridelands. When we finally arrived there was an awkward silence. I had to break it.

"So...why are we here?"

"I just wanted to talk..."

"About what?" (god Zazu, you can be so thick sometimes)

"Us you nitwit! Look, I know you don't want to break up a marriage, but I love you so."

"I love you too, but...Oh well Tallulah, you are just so beautiful..."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I know this chapter is shorter (and probably not so good) but i have tried to rattle out a second chapter to keep people interested, so the next chapter might be a while) Hope you like Zazu in loveeeee :) Read and <em>REVIEW<em> please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Lion King, characters or settings! I do own Difara, Tallulah and the circus (and the gullible hippos!) **

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><p><strong>Zazu's Diary<strong>

Thursday

I have no idea what happened last night...well I do, but I can't record it here. I am ashamed of myself. What have I done? I woke up still in the tree, still with Tallie next to me (I know that rhymes). She looked so beautiful sleeping...but I had to get out of there. Full speed ahead to Pride Rock and to get back to the job I know and love. Love? Why does that word keep coming to me? Zazu is not the kind of person who loves. Zazu is the kind of person who works hard, lives alone and keeps the Pridelands running smoothly. If I had a mate none of my jobs would get done, Simba wouldn't cope and the Circle of Life would collapse! I am the glue that holds the Pridelands together!

There was only one thing for it. Spend the day with Timon and Pumbaa. Well, Hakuna Matata.

"Timon ol' buddy, what are we doing?"

"We are having a bit of fun, Pumbaa, to cheer up old grumble-guts over here."

"But, Timon! You know giraffes make me nervous..."

"Not giraffes again, Pumbaa! Anyway, we are not dealing with those today. We are tackling the hippos."

"What?" Pumbaa and I screamed together. This was taking Timon's usual games to a whole new level.

"Don't panic, scaredy-cats! I was part of the heroic team that brought Scar's rule to an end. If I can do that-"

"Then-you-can-do-anything. We've heard it all before, Timon."

"Shut it, Bird Brain! You are ruining our concentration." Timon pointed to Pumbaa who was meditating on a nearby rock. I guessed it would take Tallulah off my mind.

You have no idea how gullible hippos are.

"Roll up, roll up! In association with the savannah phenomenon Cirque d'Afrique I am offering the chance for YOU, yes YOU to be a trapeze artist! This tried and tested method has led many an animal to circus fame and fortune!"

Me and Pumbaa rounded up the hippos as we were told, and got them to stand single file in front of the make-shift ramp that Timon had taken all of 30 seconds to make.  
>Much to the hippos' dismay, the 'tried and tested' method was not as successful as they had anticipated. After running up the ramp, (at their top speed of about 1mph) Timon instructed them to jump high in the air and reach for the plank of wood that I had hung in the baobab tree. When they fell to the ground Timon just told them that it took practice, and that they would get there if they tried.<p>

The whole process was hilarious, and after 2 hours of trying and failing, the hippos were worn out, and went for a break. Timon, Pumbaa and I went off to let them recover.

"So, Zazu, you forgotten about that bird now?"

"Well I had, Pumbaa, until you just brought it up again."

"Sorry..."

"No worries pal, Hakuna Matata as we say down our parts."

We all burst into song and we walked back up to Pride Rock for a bit of a rest.

When we got back I was surprised to see Difara talking to Simba. Apparently they had become good friends after the show the other day and Simba decided to let them stay in the Pridelands. Maybe it would have been better if they had left the first day. I wouldn't have got into this terrible mess.

"Yes, well, on our travels we pick up all kinds of new things. I especially love the gorillas that breathe fire that we found at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro."

"Wow, you must have been around. How long have you been doing this?"

"I founded it! My parents wanted me to become a strong, alpha male – much like yourself- but I had big dreams to see the world. So I found a couple of acts, made a bit cash and started the circus."

"Wow, that's cool! I wish I'd done something that adventurous in my life!"

"Well, it was what I wanted to do. I've seen many a disaster too. Like my maid, Tallulah."

I looked up.

"What?" I squawked with a dry mouth.

"Tallulah, she fell from the trapeze 5 years ago and suffered terrible injuries. She recovered from them but she felt she could not carry on. But she still loved to travel with us. So I employed her as my maid and part time trapeze trainer."

"Ohhh..."

I suddenly felt guilty. I don't know why. Why should I feel guilty? Because she fell of a trapeze 5 years ago she instantly deserves a wild sex life? But I still feel guilty. I needed to get out of here. I will go mad. I am mad.

I went for a fly to clear my head. It didn't calm me down. Almost subconsciously, I flew past my childhood home. Not happy memories. I was shunned by the other hornbills. I was too posh, too clever and too 'pretentious' for them. None of the girls went within 20 yards of me. But now, my one chance to have someone, and I have thrown it away.

Don't think like that, Zazu! You did the right thing. If the right thing means you die alone, then so be it. I can cope...I'll just sit there all day long talking to myself...I'll be sad, but I can't do anything about it now.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed the little bit of humor coming from Timon and Pumbaa! and Zazu's slight breakdown!<strong>

**Please review! and following in Midnightstar19 footsteps, i want 5 reviews before the next chapter is up! Virtual cookies all round!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this chapter (apart from the mention at the end) I do not own the Lion King either. **

**I know this chapter is short, but I wanted to keep you interested as I am on holiday until next Wednesday (give me sometime to write a couple more chapters though)**

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><p><strong>Zazu's Diary<strong>

Friday

I am still trying to get my head around what I have done. Why did I follow her to that tree? Zazu, the clever, smart, organised bird that the king relies on, has turned in to an a mad fool that has affairs and breaks up marriages. Simba can't rely on me any more, what if I make more mistakes?

"Zazu? Where have you been? You have missed the Morning Report, it's not like you!"

"Your majesty, I'm sorry, I really am! I don't know what happened."

"Are you ok? You've been acting weird since Wednesday."

"Oh sire, I've done a horrible thing, you can't rely on me any more!"

"You are the only person who I can rely on in times of crisis, what on earth have you done to break that?"

"I...I...I had an affair with a bird from the circus. The one that got injured? She's married."

"Yes...well that doesn't make anything right, but I can still rely on you, Zazu, you do the best job for me, I couldn't lose you."

"Oh, but I couldn't stay! I need to leave here. I need to talk to someone."

I guess Timon and Pumbaa can be useful. Using one of Timon's little 'plans', they got into the circus and found out some details for me. I don't know how they do it, but they can do whatever anyone asks of them. Simba told me that some of the happiest times of his life he spent in the jungle with them. Unfortunately, they were the worst years of our lives back at Pride Rock under Scar's reign. He kept me in a ribcage and made me sing (traumatising I know).

But before I left I had to say some goodbyes. Timon and Pumbaa were in tears of course, they can't cope with anything. I had to seek out Kiara.  
>When I eventually found her, she was ripping a gazelle carcass apart.<p>

"Um, Kiara, we need to talk."

"Shoot Zazu!" She had blood all around her mouth.

"I am leaving, your Royal Highness."

"WHAT? Does father know? Why? Where?"

"Yes, he knows. I am going far, far away. I have to meet someone. I may not be back for a while, Kiara, you have to make sure your father copes, and do not, I repeat do not let Timon and Pumbaa be the people Simba relies on."

"But Zazu, don't go!"

"Goodbye, Kiara."

I have always said I have an 'Inner Compass' but I am starting to think I lost it many years ago. I am writing this from somewhere that is further from where I want to get to than I was at home! I've gone backwards!  
>But not all is lost. I spend my time in the air planning what I will say. I mean, what would you say to someone whose mate you've slept with?<p>

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Short I know! please REVIEW cos it makes me so happy! and I want to come back to 15 reviews before my next chapter! I have a feeling this story might turn out to be not many chapters, but it is the first FF that I have stuck with! Hope you enjoy it!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lion King or any characters (i wish) I do own Tallie, Azagba and the circus. **

**Authors Note: This may be the end of a VERY short ff, but it is my first, and i have a writers block :( but if loads of people want me to carry on, then i might!**

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><p>Today was tiring. I used Timon's directions, and his description to track him down. (and a bit of help from the locals) Well when I found the guy, he was with another bird! I couldn't believe it! Here's me, trying to do the right thing and come clean, and he is cheating on Tallulah! I was trying to creep up on them, but I stumbled and ended up getting caught in the vines and leaves. You can imagine.<p>

"Who the hell are you?"

"Um, well I came to umm...err..."

"Spit it out posh boy!"

"I had an..." My voice just kept tailing off, and I was trying to stop my self from getting cross with the guy. He was a big guy, and very intimidating.

"WHAT? I'm busy!"

"I can bloody see that! I all the way here to confess that I had an affair with Tallulah, and here you are fooling around with someone else!"

"You did WHAT with my Tallie?"

"It was a one night thing! But I couldn't handle the guilt! I have spent the last 2 days trying to find you, and do the right thing!"

"Well I can't help myself okay? I love Tallie, and thought she would be good whilst she was away! Long distance relationships are hard you know!"

"Well have some self control! How can you expect Tallulah to be good, when you just go and cheat on her back home?"

"What do you expect me to do? Just sit around lonely all day and wait for the few weeks I get with her every year?"

"Travel with her! You must both miss each other sorely, and I don't want to be someone who gets in the way of an already tricky relationship. Why don't you come back with me to see her?

"I can't..."

"Why not?" It seemed silly to me that people who have been apart so long would not want to see each other at every opportunity.

"We had an argument. It was silly. When she had her accident I begged for her to come back home and stay. She wanted to stay at the circus and help. It's as if she was avoiding me, and it would just be awkward if I went back."

I didn't know what to say. Part of my mind was telling me to take my chance and grab Tallie. But I knew that this guy needed help. And I knew this relationship was in my hands.

Eventually I realised I hadn't introduced my self.

"I'm Zazu, The King's Majordomo of the Pridelands."

"Nice to meet you! I'm Azagba...a bird?"

We started our long journey back to the Pridelands. There was a good tailwind so we had a chance of getting there by the evening. I told Azagba stories about the good old days with the great Mufasa, and the tragic stories of his death and the reign of scar. And the tale of Simba and how he saved the pride. I heard stories about how Azagba and Tallie had met, and their last nights together before she joined the circus.

The sun started to go down as we saw Pride Rock on the horizon. By the time we got back I expected all the lions to be asleep (they usually are, when they are not hunting) but there seemed to be a crowd of people around the circus camp.

"What's going on?" I asked around.

No-one seemed to hear me. But I could see pretty soon what the fuss was about.

There she was. Her body. A noose around her neck. Dead.

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><p><strong>So? What did you think of the end? A bit crappy, but i need inspiration :( More Zazu ff will come, using all sorts of new sticky situations! Review, it makes me happy! :D<strong>


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